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Why Women Today would rather stay single

According to Pew Research center, 60% of women these days identify themselves as single. Here is why.

1.) Today’s woman is more career minded

There are twice as many 20-something women today in the workforce than there were 40 years ago. Prioritizing careers over partnership can actually have major economic benefits for many single women too. A report from the National Marriage Project found that college-educated women who stayed unmarried throughout their 20s earned an average of $18,000 or more annually, than those who married before turning 30. While grandma was raised to believe she needed a man to support her, women today are raised to support themselves. And, frankly, men are trending in the opposition direction. Men today are less career driven, with no desire for advanced education. Men today are often boys who want video games, mancaves and playdates with their bromances. Now don’t get me wrong, some women find that cute for a few nights. But for the long term? Meh, not so much.

2.) Women today are far less religious.

According to the Pew research center, women today are not only far less likely to align themselves with a religious institution, but are even far less likely to use the words agnostic, or atheist, to define themselves. Many millennial women today are more referred to as “None” in any spiritual category. And, why shouldn’t they be? After religion spent the better part of the last 2,000 years telling them they’re to be property of men, and referring to them as whores for having the same sexual interests as men, why would any woman want any part of that? Nah. If a woman today believes in anything spiritual, they believe in the soul healing experience of spas, wine and Netflix.

3.) You’re not the right person for them, and they know it.

It used to be men were pretty good at convincing women they were their knight and shining armor. In the current world of social media, internet and smart devices, today’s women have a far superior sense of what they want, and who can provide it, than women of previous generations. Despite millennials’ general aversion to marriage, monogamy is still idealized in many circles — and it’s not something to be taken lightly. While millennial women are more open to open relationships, sexual fluidity and having multiple partners over a lifetime, they still want those connections to count. One moment, she feels fiercely independent and totally content in her singlehood—the next, she really, really wishes she was head-over-heels in love. However, her desire to actually wait until she meets Mr. Right will always far outweigh the desire for casual sex. Especially when she knows most of the time, the sex will suck.

4.) Being single allows you to be a better person

Every now and then you have a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on. We all do. Every now and then you feel the need to do something for society like volunteer at a soup kitchen or devote time to an environmental cause. Most often, being in a relationship gives you no time to do that. Women today have a strong desire to be socially conscious and enjoy spending their time being useful to the world, rather than being just useful to a partner. Women today would prefer spending time helping a charitable organization or their community, than re-watching episode 6 for the 3rd time because her partner can’t stay awake through it.

5.) Freedom of Sexuality & Personality

Much like men, most women want to have sex, a lot. But unlike most men, it seriously matters that the encounters have significance. The average single woman has about 5 fleeting crushes a day. The charming male barista at the coffee shop. The trainer at the gym. Sometimes, a woman will even have a crush on another single woman, even if they’re straight. In fact, almost every single woman has thought about what it would be like to be with their good friend’s man. It’s true. Believe me. However, despite the insanity of their emotions, ranging anywhere from the desire to cry over a sappy song in the car, to singing “All the single ladies” while they’re in the shower, women today enjoy the freedom of being themselves. Many women tend to want to put on a show for their partners, by trying to be who they want them to be, and the act gets exhausting after a while. Her bottle of Cabernet won’t judge her for not shaving her legs this week. Yes, she often wishes she could have someone there to cuddle with her. Until she remembers how comfortable it is to have her giant bed all to herself.

I am a wine, food, and travel writer, and founder of Vindulge Wine Education. I am also a Certified Sommelier through the Court of Master Sommeliers. Oh, I’m also the mom of twins, wife of a pitmaster, and a barbecue fanatic! In the summer of 2015 my husband and I founded Ember & Vine, wood-fired catering, events BBQ competitions, and pop-up food cart (what were we thinking?!).

I am a staff writer and columnist for Palate Press Online Wine Magazine, and a food and wine contributor to Wine4.Me. I also write freelance about wine, food, and travel for various publications, and I am the author of this here website where I share original recipes, wine pairings, wine tidbits, and travel stories.

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